I used to be in a relationship. I’m in an unconventional friendship with a man I get extremely offended by at times. An ex-boyfriend who doesn’t think we’re compatible. We both get and have our relationships. I still get limerent jealous at him and I’ve done my own thing, but he told me to chill out when it came to trying to be in a new relationship. And now he’s got me harnessed onto him somehow to the point where I actually care whether or not he’s in a relationship. So, while he’s doing all that stuff, texting women he likes, he treats me like shit, tries to take from me for other women, at least did in the past. It’s like he needed an offering: a young woman to take dirty deeds out to treat women better. I was only 18. I had to worry about him doing evil spells on me in my sleep or trying to take another 18-year-old in for himself at all times! Anyways I’m using him and using a messenger account begging him to leave me alone! I’m a normal girl!! He literally showed up to my house.
He likes blue haired girls and the season winter and I’m a beginning of Autumn girl. I dyed my hair red when we got together; bur he likes blue more or something.
Now, it’s to that point. I made it black.
I said, I was going to just enjoy being single and that I don’t want him, yet he asks why that’s the case. He said I was putting myself in danger trying to find myself the right person to be with. So, I stopped. I began to focus about work. Now I feel like I’m a dog in a cage for this man who goes out and does whatever he wants with other women. There’s just a sad feeling I get when he does this. Because I was genuinely with this man.
It’s bad at home too. And I don’t have any friends. If you are reading this from twitter, DM ME. Make conversation if you want.
That’s all I have to say for now. Someone save me. I’m doing amazing things for myself and at the same time in distress!!
Published by kacynskitessa
Mabon and 104 I am the Mabon girl.
I was born on September 22, at the turning of summer into autumn. And every year on my birthday, my mother raced. Her racecar was pink. Her number was 104. She raced not only for the thrill of the track, but for breast cancer awareness—turning a racecar into a moving symbol of remembrance, strength, and hope. So while I was celebrating another year of my life, my mother was carrying a message around the racetrack. Pink against mud. 104 the car was painted. An engine roaring beneath the September sky. To me, those races, wearing hot pink; became part of what my birthday meant. Other people might remember birthdays through candles or balloons. I remember mine through the sound of racing. Through my mother. Through that pink car. Through 104. And through the strange beauty of being born at the beginning of autumn—the season of harvest, balance, transformation, and letting go. Mabon reminds us that life is made of cycles. The track taught me something similar. You don't stay in one place. You move through turns. You cross lines. You begin again. My mother raced for awareness, carrying something bigger than herself around the track. And I grew up carrying her story with me. Maybe that's why the image feels so powerful: A mother racing beneath her daughter's September birthday sky. A pink car representing awareness. The number 104 marking its place on the track. And a daughter watching, growing, changing, becoming. Every year, the girl became older. Every year, autumn returned. Every year, the wheels turned. And the story continued. I am the Mabon girl. My birthday is September 22. My mother raced. Her car was pink. Her number was 104. And somewhere between the harvest and the racetrack, I learned that life isn't about staying still. It's about knowing when to hold on— and knowing when to turn the wheel.
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